We're makin' lasagna!

Lasagna is one of those dishes that everyone loves, but nobody wants to make, and for good reason. It takes all day. When I got up on Saturday, I ate breakfast, made a grocery list, went grocery shopping, and then started the red sauce that I would use for my lasagna. That's all I did for the rest of the day. The lasagna only cooks for about 45 minutes, but the prep work is painstaking. Not that I mind or wish there were shortcuts. I love making lasagna. It's my signature dish, which is why you will not see a recipe. The secret is the red sauce. I don't call it marinara, because Grammy didn't call it marinara. She called it red sauce. I don't put meat in my sauce, either. That's cheating. Good cheese is also imperative. I use only whole milk mozzarella and ricotta.

While I won't give you my red sauce recipe, I will tell you a few things that I do to ensure a 5-layer lasagna that stays together when you cut it.

You can try, but you'll only get a maximum of 3 layers out of those 9' x 13' Pyrex baking pans that have a depth of only 3". You really need to get a good lasagna dish. Now, I normally would throw holy water on Rachael Ray, but I received her lasagna pan for Christmas last year, and I've made 3 lasagnas in it so far. It's terrific.

The architecture of a lasagna is very important. You can't just throw sauce and cheese and noodles into the pan 5 times and call it good. Here are the most important structural laws of lasagna:

THE NOODLES SKILLZ - The dryer the better

What I do is boil the noodles in a HUGE pot until they are al-dente. Dump most of the water, then throw a bunch of ice in the pot with the noodles and remainder of the water to cool down the water because you will be putting your hands in it. Make sure your noodles are still submerged so they don't stick. Then I will take out a noodle at a time, and hold it hanging with one hand, and run my other hand down the length of the noodle to get all the water off. then I will hang the noodle on the side of the pan to stay dry. repeat this with all the noodles. Once you have gone all the way around the pan, you can start layering them on top of each other. The goal is to have your noodles dry and ready to layer into your lasagna.

THE CHEESE SKILLZ - The glue that binds it all together

You should have gotten some fresh whole milk mozzarella. If it is in brine, make sure you take the cheese knots out and let them dry on a paper towel before you start assembling. All I do with the mozz is smash it up like playdough in my hands and crumble it on. You will need to make a thin layer that has a good amount of coverage. Don't forget the corners and sides! The ricotta we will dump into a freezer bag and squeeze out as much air as possible. Then cut an eighth inch hole in the corner of the bag to pipe the ricotta onto the lasagna.

THE LAYERING SKILLZ - Why is this so complicated?

This is very important. Your shall be assembled in no order other than this one:
The bottom layer is sauce, and don't do something stupid and grease the pan or something. Then it goes in a noodle/sauce/cheese/repeat pattern. The noodles must be layered in a very specific method. Start at one of the long sides of the pan and lay down a noodle. Then lay another noodle that covers a little less than half of the one under it. Repeat until you reach the other side of the pan, then tear a noodle to fit the gap that is probably left on one of the small sides, since your pan is 13" and your noodles are only about 10". On your next layer of noodles, start at the opposite side of the last layer you did. This ensures that the layers are fortified and won't slide around when you slice them. Here is a fancy diagram I baked up.

So these are the main important things about the construction of a lasagna. The flavor is in your hands because my sauce recipe is under lock and key. When it's all assembled, just throw it in a preheated 400 degree oven for about an hour or until the cheese on top starts getting brown and melty.

Kind of like this.
Click to enlarge the cheesy, saucy goodness!